Everything is freaking me out, what makes things so hard? Damn it, hell it. You, you, you and you are all same, doing the same thing to me, disappointment, madness, hurts and pains. Do you think I deserve these? Hell no! Leave me far far away if you're going to treat me like this. I'm freaking tired on all of you. Did I do something wrong or did I make you upset? Why can't you just open your hell mouth and tell me that? Stop doing this to me! Damn it. Don't ever act like your are generous or friendly enough in front of me anymore, you're just another hypocrite I've met. You told me that you're sincere to friends? Do you think I'm blind now? Even though whatever you said was true but you can never run away from the word JEALOUSY. Your acts really disappointed me. Though I felt that I'm silly again for listening and trusting on you, I thought you would not be the another one for me. I was so wrong on trusting another person. You told me her bad and said you will appreciate me but now you're acting exactly the same thing as what she did to me. It really doesn't make any sense. Somehow I really can't figure it out what are you really thinking of. Am I too narrow-minded? Is that all my problems thinking in these negative ways? What's make me like this is not just a single case you did on me, you did it for times. Hell. Can you stop disappointed me? You said you love me but you suffered me a lot, is that what you meant? What you want is to make me suffer a lot and you can just live your life happily with it? I don't know and I can't get what's in your mind. What you told and your act are totally different. Which one is actually the real? I'm so doubt and mess. You're just acting fine sometimes but you make me doubt right after it. Maybe I'm still thinking and hanging in the past, I just can't stop thinking whenever you're trying to do the same thing again. Is that I really think too much? Why would I care so much on it? I don't know, I know that I'm weird. Maybe there is a devil living inside my heart, makes me suffer a lot and I don't even know what to do to make me feel better. I tried not to think but I'm not blind, I can't avoid it and stop the earth from spinning. I can't pretend that everything is not existed as I wished to. I can't do it, I can't stop myself to being like this and unhappy. I can't hide my feelings in front of you, you sense everything happened on me, I can't stand it anymore and cried on your shoulders. At that moment, I felt that I can lean and depend on you. Maybe I'm stress now, because of all the stuffs, no matter about college stuffs or the people around me. I'm standing right at the edge, don't know what to do, so I chose to hide myself, again. Should I pretend that nothing happens and everything is fine? Or should I ignore and stay away from them? Can you give me some advices? Mr. Chai Soon Yip? I'm going to be crazy soon I guess. I know, its not gonna be a big deal, time can heals everything. I will be fine.