I'd read back the messages that you sent to me.

I had more than a feeling when reading it.

Upsetting that we had wasted so much time being together, I lost the time to share things together with you, filling up your boredom and hard time.

Glad that you'd finally confessed, you are still care and love me and you never forget about me.

Surprisingly you was the one who took the first move to solve the problems and you apologized to me. It was the first time you did it if I'm not mistaken.

Grateful about you was still willingly to be apart of my life until my life ends, hopefully.

I'm really glad that we didn't become a pair of parallel lines as I was afraid of.

Maybe I'm not grateful enough 'cause I'm doubting, I doubt that how long can we stand this relationship, can it be forever? I hope to, but I'm still afraid, I'm sensed the weak source between us, I hope we can stay this forever, sincerely.

We getting less contact with each other lately, this is what makes me feel doubt again. I had the nightmare that you wanted to leave and ignore me again. I don't know why this happened in my mind. I'm silly though, maybe I'm too afraid to lose you.

I really hope that we could still stay close although we started to less contact.

You are the one, always be.

Doubt again, you disappointed me. Deeply.

Why it is so hard to prove it? Is that my problem?

Fine, I won't upset for the one who doesn't appreciate me anymore.

Just get out of my life. Do whatever you want and you wish. Don't mess me up.

You're not sorry.

I still have you even though the whole world abandon me.

I'm lucky to have you by my side. You are the only one who put me at the first place and important one. You make me feel that I'm the one.

The differences

Having my first semester right now in KBU college, college life is really much more different with secondary school. But, it is equally fun with friends. *Miss my secondary school's friends

The pros of studying college:

- Having air-conditional in the class heeee~~ I don't need to stand the hot weather.

- Don't need to wear school uniform..but it's kinda bored to choose what to wear everyday.

- A lot of foods!

- We can even listen songs during the class.

- Chat and laugh out loud during the class. Heee~~

- Can go to toilet whenever we need to.

- Meet a lot of foreign and out station friends.

There are 42 of us in the class, I think this is the new record ever since.

We getting to know each other better now, there are so many different characters among 41 of them. I discovered that the world is really small, 'cause some of them know some of my friends, sounds miracle to me..hahaha.

I'd also discovered some characters which I dislike. They somehow make me feel annoy. She has the same attitude as HER, which it makes me feel annoy like I did before. Really feel like wanna give her a punch sometimes, believe me, I don't mean to be like this, but I couldn't control my thoughts. Hopefully I could still accept it, or else I'll probably going to ignore her.

Yea, the second one, I don't like anyone controlling me, I just want to do what I want to do, she makes me can't even take a breathe, always ordering and stick to me, I need freedom and I'm nobody to her what. Argh, I know I'm bad to have a thought like this, she's my friend, how could I think of this? I don't know, but I started to ignore her. x(

I wonder why I still couldn't change my destiny, my character among them is still like what I had in secondary school--the funny one. Or I should say I am the one who get bully, mentally but not physically. x) Always get teased like I was in secondary school hahaha...hey, I should be the elegant one not the sampat one..I thought I could at least change this among my college friends, but it doesn't work at all.

They teased and laughed at me as usual. Maybe I'm too humorous teehee~~ perasan.

Some of them are funny enough, can't even get serious when interacting with them. I discovered I have a lot of competitors, who can talk much more craps than me. I'm totally a loser now XD

They even given me a name that they feel comfortable with it == I am so speechless.

No one bother bout what I said : STOP CALLING ME THAT.

Well, let them be... x)

Who wants to ask me go yam cha? It had been long time that I didn't go for tea already.

He doesn't looks upset these days, but I sensed something. He's upset actually.

He didn't let any of us know, or maybe I'm the only one who don't know. Whatever.

Hope that he's okay..be strong and don't give up.

We are here, we are always here for him.

Love one.

Toilet incident

Went to Timesquare on Wednesday.
My hair was really messy and I went into the toilet to comb my hair, there was a toilet cleaner standing beside of me.
After few seconds combing my hair....
'The cleaner'
*Me*

'Kenapa rambut awak tak gugur?'
I was like----*huh?* kinda shocked that she talked to me all of a sudden.
I looked at her and smile.
'Rambut saya banyak gugur, kenapa ni? Apa syampoo awak guna?'
*Haha, saya punya juga gugur.*
'Tapi saya tak nampak awak gugur pun'
*Adalah, saya guna syampoo Sunsilk, gugur juga bila saya cuci rambut.*
'Saya memang banyak gugurlah, kenapa ah? macam mana ni.'
.........................................
I was kinda speechless already, we chattered for around few minutes there and someone was waiting for me outside.
I just smiling at her in the end and left the toilet awkwardly.

I Heart You.

I love my sopo. =)

Hey guys.

I knew I had disappeared for few days. Started my college life at KBU.
It's tiring 'cause I almost stayed there for whole day everyday, from 8++a.m to 5.30p.m.
Nuts...reached home already 6p.m. So, I really don't have the mood to online haha.
But actually I got nothing to do there..hard to imagine right? Hard to explain too.
And of course, met some new friends there. My seniors told me that Art and Design is kinda busy, hard work and suffer. Gosh, I'd taken the wrong course?! I'm lazy man..what to do..I'd already registered for it...so, let's fight for it!!
I love colours!! ^^
Next week might be busy, class will be started. Tiring. Heee~~
Hmm..nothing else to share..owh...I met a leng zai hahaha..my classmate...woot..

That's it. XD

Great

Watched Alice in Wonderland finally. Not bad, but it not nice. Haha.
Or actually I didn't really concentrated on the movie, you know, I was just sms-ing. * Someone sms me during that time. haha, I guess someone miss me a lot.
It was so cold in the cinema...luckily I brought my sweater this time heee.
But the one who sitting beside of me seem freezing in the cinema hahaha.
After the movie, we went to have our lunch at Teppanyaki, my favourite =)
Someone came to meet me XD
It was a miracle that four of us would sitting together to have our lunch. I never think about this scene, believe me, never. It was great. Hahaha.
How great? 'Cause someone treated the lunch XD
I'm so happy to eat Teppanyaki, and something happier was on later, I non-stop coughing, maybe not that over la. Nevermind, unless I'd eaten my favourite =p
Thanks, Jerry.
Thanks for the day. Heeee~~
Then, continue to the next station. Only two of us hahaha...why am I so syok?
The car and the person that I thought will never meet up or whatever in my life time anymore were just right in front of me.
We went to a nice place and chattered a lot, which I thought it might only happen in my dream and it just happened! Another great for this.
After that, went to a place that I thought I would never step in there anymore in my life time. It was awkward at first, surely. =) The place we used to chat and chattered the most.
Was it a dream??? Hahaha, I afraid not. That's why I'm happy .
Hmmm, just keep it on and on...
Thanks thanks thanks =))))


Owh, felt angry but not that angry, don't know how to describe this kind of feelings.
Anyway, this is why I don't like to borrow money to others.
Okay, I won't borrow money to anyone anymore.
Everyone knows that I'm stingy and I don't think that this is a small amount.
Perasan la and don't borrow money from me.
Pay me back pay me back pay me back!!!


I miss him x(
So much. Until I couldn't really express it by words. Really. So-so much x(
I need your accompany, but I don't want to burden you.
So everything is in my heart.

I got it.

Until today, I finally know, I finally got it.
I won't mess up your life from now on.
I think I will not find you anymore.
It's not because I'm angry with you, I just think that I should not bother your life already.
You have to be happy, or actually you are happier than what I thought, maybe I thought I'm too important, but actually I'm not. I'm just the way too proud. That's why I'm hatred.
Okay, that's all I can do for you now. Doing nothing would be the best for you.
You are somehow so weird, your attitude or whatever, I won't figure out what are you thinking, I should say that you are so childish or mature?
Honestly, you make me mad on your attitude few times before. How could you do such things? And this recent case, I felt that you're really irresponsible. But after I thought, actually I was much more irresponsible than you compare to this such a small case. So, I chose to let go and put down. I owed you a lot which I know I couldn't repay you.
Or I might think too much now. Whatever, I won't find you already.
Friend.
If we could be friends. If you ever treated me as your friend. Nah, I know you did, more than friend.