Face the reality

When you get closed to someone, you're ready to be hurt, you're ready to be betrayed. Imagine you've trusted someone so much. It would just happen to you once you get into a relationship with anyone around you. This is why sometimes I would rather to be all alone. I can see the colours of the society, people around you could be so friendly to you and turned into another person right after a second. They could be so realistic and hypocritical when involving some benefits. I am just the amongst of the ordinary ones, I don't even know how to do the tricks in this kind of environment and I don't even like to get anyone's attentions. Human instincts make me confuse and make me fears, I couldn't stop doubting on their sincerity. I'm always in dilemma about, why people could be so selfish yet I still have to be generous? Why people could be so rude yet I still have to be patient? These are what make me doubt on myself too, who am I, where is my real soul? Should I have to be like that to protect myself? Why? Why people keep changing themselves including me? Trust me, I wish I would never change myself from the beginning, but I've no choices. This is the real world, humans are selfish who are only care about themselves. The reality is so terrifying.

I could just collapse if there's no one here to support me.